You are not allowed to be an asshole!

You are not allowed to be an asshole
I don’t care if you’re running for local office or president of the United States
You’re just not allowed to be an asshole!

Even if you are a back up dancer for Beyonce or
look like Jennifer Lawrence or
Orlando Bloom or
any other gorgeous celebrity who can shoot arrows like a boss.

Even if you won sixteen trophies from wrestling, football, rugby, and squash
I don’t care if you ran nine marathons or can successfully stick your ankles behind your head…
Oh and by the way, namaste to you too, betches
Thanks for turning a beautiful Hindu practice into an expensive ego trip.

Every human being has a story and a struggle
Your fancy schmancy shit does not put you above that
sex worker
homeless man
pregnant teenager
or person with addictions
You are not allowed to be an asshole to them

Even if you own a 1000 leather bound books or your apartment smells like rich mahogany
Even if you can tell me precisely how old this wine is or know the entire history of Pablo Picasso’s paintings.

You are not allowed to be an asshole
Even if you can regurgitate social justice rhetoric while juggling knives on a unicycle or work for the U.N.
In that case, you need to stop being a hypocritical asshole

And to be frank, I don’t care if you single handedly prevented a pandemic or discovered a cure for premenstrual cramps…

well…

I guess if you found a cure for premenstrual cramps,
you might be allowed to be an asshole…

Though until then,
STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.