Off with my head!

NO, I will not have a threesome with you
NO, I do not want to DO everyone
NO, I am not just going through a phase
Nor will I pick a side.

NO, attention is actually the last thing I need when kissing a femme and
NO, I do not have to sleep with a man, woman, trans, and non-binary individual
one by one
on your living room couch
to prove my identity to you.

BURN ME AT THE STAKE why don’t you?
’cause I’m pansexual.

But,
I am also a scientist and
an artist and
I like to swim and dance
I like the show 30 Rock and
I know this is kind of intense and
a little TMI but…
sometimes before really busy work weeks,
I like to make big pots of soup
let them cool
and then pack them in portioned out Tupperwares
so I don’t have to worry so much about cooking later.

…in any case, you best
FEED ME TO THE WOLVES
’cause I’m pansexual!!!
I will seduce your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, and pet cat to leave you!
I define sacrilegious–
Shaking my hand will give you an STI!

SEND ME TO THE GUILLOTINE
before I infect the town with crabs!
STATION THE GUARDS
at all women’s bathrooms
SAVE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!!

Go on
forget equal human rights
Continue killing off my kind with stigma-induced suicide
It’s for the betterment of society after all
and if you want to keep your cat.